For Trash You Are, And To Trash You Shall Return – Chapter 8, Act 3, Strip 78

R2D2, turn on all the trash compactors on the maintenance level. >_>

And there was great rejoicing! At least among the children…but in this case including former children. Finally, if inevitably only at the very end of his career and existence, 8-Dork-8 has done something to make all the children happy. Who would have thought that such a sordid story would end on such a note of redemption?

As for our friends…well, they’re also former children, at least if you don’t count Mopey, who still firmly rejects that notion. So I guess they wouldn’t be unhappy about 8-Dork-8’s decision as such. What they might still resent, of course, is his inability to be of any help to them right now. They could really need some, after all.
But 8-Dork-8’s argument is irrefutable – since there is no existing stock footage of anybody successfully engaging a giant chocolate bar with ‘censorship’ written on it, which has tentacles and consumes reality strip-by-strip, 8-Dork-8’s hands are tied. The lot of a filler character, unfortunately.

Too bad, though – after the Professorian, that’s another entry gone from the list of potential deus-ex-machina candidates. Which didn’t start out terribly long to begin with…
Anyone? Bueller?

Bueller?

More on Monday.

8 Replies to “For Trash You Are, And To Trash You Shall Return – Chapter 8, Act 3, Strip 78”

  1. Possible deus-ex saviors: Dr. Dutchman Fu, Capt. Valiant, Zorba, Hen-Tai, Sheriff Ketchum.
    The more minor and incompetent the character, the bigger the surprise and callback value for a B-movie; regardless of how much sense it actually makes.

    1. You forgot Biff’s japanese catgirl girlfriend, who only really appeared like twice in the plot and PROBABLY isn’t canonical and no one would remember, but still fits the criteria.

    2. I guess those would all be plausible candidates…well, save for Hen-Tai, perhaps. Not just because he’s kinda more obscure than the other, but also because it would be dangerous to bring Hen-Tai into a plot situation that already involves that many tentacles… XD

  2. Ok. So best thought I have for how they get out of this:

    The cast tries to show Latho the canonical ending of the original release of Neon Genesis Evangelion. That should be enough to daze and confuse even an elder god of chaos.

    Once he’s confused and distracted, they have Snuka steal his Resolve. Hopefully he’s a high enough level thief that he can steal things that are only conceptual, but if he is than it should slow the Censorship Bar down.

    Meanwhile, we have Mopey try to employ the more Goth side of her nature to summon a Devil. SPECIFICALLY a Devil, as in DnD they’re the ‘Lawful’ Evil. Have it start gating in more Devils, as many as they can get up topside. The first one will likely need a host, but for Gregory that’s likely a lateral move anyway, given the existence he’s had so far.

    You may be wondering how bringing in devils HELPS matters, but the fact of the matter is this: They’re in a B-Movie and the budget is limited. The more show-stopping things they do, the further they stretch that budget, and if they’re lucky and try enough shit, the writers will HAVE to come up with a way to resolve the movie just to tie things up.

    I don’t know if this comment is possible or even makes a lot of sense, but it was fun to write.

    1. Well, I see only two real flaws with your plot…and, let’s face it, for a B-movie plot two flaws is an extraordinarily small number…

      One is the thing about the NGE ending. I doubt that a being of pure chaos, like Nyarlathotep, actually exists – but if it does, it would have to be responsible for creating those two episodes. For if such a being was responsible for anything at all, it would have to be responsible for that ahead of anything else, because of pure chaos. So, in an universe where Latho exists, it’s a safe bet that he actually wrote and directed NGE as part of some nefarious, multigenerational plan to bring down sanity…

      And the other little flaw is the idea that gating in countless devils would overstretch the movie’s budget. George Geekish could solve that problem in a very economical manner by shooting en miniature. He should easily have a dozen devil miniatures among his own stuff from his D&D days, and limitless numbers are readily commercially available. So it would be quite cheap to pull off…well, as long as the use cheap Chinese plastic knock-off miniature, that is. If George would buy Citadel miniatures or something similar, the production would be bankrupt in a heartbeat… >_>

    1. That’s one of the advantages to the B-movie theme for this webcomic: I was never tempted to create a self-insertion character for it. Simply because it would be embarrassing to be seen in something like this… XD

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