And here Professor Dr. lays out Dr. Dutchman Fu’s devious plan in detail. Well, not too much detail…”a few, isolated details” is more like it. But that’s par for the course when it comes to time travel shenanigans like that, the connection between a specific change to the timeline and a specific changed outcome tends to look a lot more plausible if you don’t look too closely. These plans tend to be on the approximate level of the good old lost horseshoe -> lost nation connection, and B-movies tend to not even rise to that average level.
Fortunately, the Professor brought his laptop along – this not only helps him with all of the exposition he has to do*, but also adds whole levels of plausibility to the outlined sequence of events. The computer can be assumed to have “analyzed millions of alternate scenarios”, or even “analyzed all possible scenarios”, and that way you can line up events at random and their complete lack of connectedness will just prove how sophisticated the computer is. You can even put figures to it, if you like.
Which I did, being much more conservative than a B-movie should rightfully be in the process – but, as the Professor stated correctly, the sheer terror of the specific altered outcome should be more than enough to make up for the low base probability. And perhaps I should add that I wrote the script before the most recent round of problematic relevations about the Biebs – so the terror would be even sheerer now than originally planned. But with that criminal record, he would probably not be able to assume the name Innocent (XIV) on his ascension, so he’ll probably have to make do with Celestine (VI).
I know that there’s a new pope, by the way, I could just not find a good picture of him where he wears that kind of particularly popish, or I think the correct adjective is ‘papal’, outfit – and it’s just a lot funnier with the outfit.
* he can’t use the normal dialogue form since Snuka isn’t…well…I wouldn’t say he isn’t intelligent enough for it, but he just isn’t defined as the kind of character a scientist-character can have that sort of expositional dialogue with.
More on Monday.