While Gregory went through his night of terror and triumph, Snuka was much more pleasantly occupied…while he still steals physical objects when he can get away with it, most of his criminal activity is virtual these days. You gotta keep up with the times…especially when it is more profitable. When he was younger, he dreamed about once owning a spectacular headquarter to his dreamt-of criminal empire, and he imagined it as some kind of luxury hotel turned crime den, with submachine-wielding goons in pinstripe suits hanging around for protection…and representation. Nowadays he carries the headquarter of his virtual criminal empire in his pocket…far less spectacular than his childhood fantasies on the outside, but easily producing the same amount of turnover.
And, yeah…Snuka isn’t spiderman, but he possesses one sense that is heightened to supernatural levels: he has a heightened sense of self-preservation. It’s a real superpower, and one of the most useful ones one might possess.
It doesn’t work flawlessly, though, since it tends to err on the side of caution – but that kinda is the point of it, really. In this case, it perceived Gregory’s approach as the unstoppable advance of a vengeful undead Egyptian. Understandably so, since he’s covered head-to-toe in bandages. Not that his injuries were really that severe…but, as Snuka correctly deduced, the school nurse had a huge stock of bandages that were about to get thrown out due to the expiry date, so she felt she might as well use up the lot. Plus, it works as an allusion to cartoon greats of the past.
There wasn’t much she could do about the damage to Gregory’s heterosexuality, so she gave him some gay pride items to be on the safe side. Should he not be able to piece his self-perception as heterosexual back together, those items will help him face his new reality with pride. And if he does manage to patch everything up…well, he can be an ally.
And, yeah…calibration is an issue with Snuka’s Snuka-sense. He’s never really not in danger…partly due to being part of the BMC cast, but mostly due to his own life-choices. So it took some time to train his super-sense to only alert him to any new danger that appears above and beyond the base level of danger he’s always in.
More on Monday.