And That Also Hurt – Chapter 7, Act 4, Strip 81

OK, now I’m starting to lose track…this one definitely also hurt a whole lot, but I can’t exactly say whether it hurt any more or less than the last two. Part of the problem is that there’s really no reliable way to measure pain, and the other part of the problem is that I don’t use life models, so there isn’t even anybody to ask how much that hurt. But I think we can all agree that it hurt plenty, and also more than enough.

By now the outline of (good!)Biff’s master plan should have become obvious. He faintly remembered his old coach saying something about overcoming yourself being the biggest challenge. From that he logically concluded that overcoming somebody else than yourself must be less challenging in any case, and developed the idea that every member of the team should challenge somebody else than their direct evil analogue. With the help of the others, this was developed into a plan for match-ups that put strengths against weaknesses – and therefore, it actually works. If only coach was around to witness all of this, he’d be completely overcome himself…not only by the fact that Biff managed to remember something he said, but even more so by the fact that one of his silly platitudes actually managed to work out. In some weird way, at least.

Naturally, it wasn’t hard to figure out that putting Mopey up against Biff would be super effective. It’s not only her unblemished track record of hurting him, it’s simply the fact that she knows him so well as a target. Not only can she rely on muscle-memory to guide the tip of her boot to the center of his crotch (and instead of steel-tipped boots, she’s wearing all-steel ones right now, too), she’s also well acquainted with all of his other weaknesses – she’s targeted them with sarcastic remarks often enough. One of those weaknesses is that Biff’s really easy to distract, of course, thanks to the relative stringent limits on his ability to concentrate. And here she actually found a practical application for her shield as a thrown weapon! If you don’t try to actually hit your target, but only to distract it, the whole thing actually isn’t quite as ridiculous as it always seemed to her. She’s learning so much today, she’s really having a good day…plus she gets to hurt Biff, that makes it that much better.

More on Thursday.

2 Replies to “And That Also Hurt – Chapter 7, Act 4, Strip 81”

  1. One could argue that as comic relief, Biff’s pain doesn’t count. Moreover, this is evil!Biff, so it especially doesn’t count as he not only loses all sympathy as comic relief; but also instills satisfaction as an evil character getting their comeuppance.

    In fairness to good!Biff’s general competence, this is technically a misapplication of the coach’s advice. If used less literally than in this situation, it’d be the equivalent of determining that self-improvement via introspection is too hard and that it’s easier to just let someone else determine your flaws and deal with them for you. Hopefully Biff will never delve past the surface-level of all those motivational platitudes and figure out keen ways to circumvent them. Like that give 110% effort one which is mathematically impossible unless you get someone else involved which allows you to split the effort at 55% each (or 22% if you have a team of 5).

    1. Mopey would definitely argue that Biff’s pain doesn’t count. It being a ‘relief’ for her stress is part of that, and she also really enjoys the ‘comic’ aspect. I’m not sure whether she’s noticed that this version of Biff was evil, but it would have been a minor consideration, at best.

      I think that it’s in the nature of that sort of platitude that they’re never technically wrong as such…but that they’re also never really helpful when applied to a real-life situation, due to being far too general and catch-all. You basically have to misapply them to get any use out of them – and that definitely gives Biff an edge, since she’s second to none at misapplying stuff. That goes for all of her iterations, of course – normal!Biff just never got around to waste one of his few thoughts on anything the coach ever told him. But just a little bit of extra mental effort already makes a difference here…

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