Oh noes, science has deserted Mopey! It has never happened before, but I guess the ballistics were just insurmountable in this case.

Given the blast radius of a 820 kg shell and the short distance, there is no mathematical chance the shell could miss them enough to leave them a chance of survival. It wouldn’t even have required a genius to figure that out, but since a genius was available, it was figured out by a genius. The result is the same though.

With their chances of survival being infinitesimal, the Professor realizes that only total random chance can possibly save them – and, fortunately, a source of total random chance is at hand! Biff’s actions qualify as truly random, since like the best random number generators, he does rely on atmospheric noise to direct his decisions, and not on some pseudo-random algorithm. He doesn’t have much of a choice, anyway, since there actually isn’t anything but atmospheric noise inside his head.

Will the Professor’s desperate appeal to the fringes of statistical probability work? Find out on Thursday!

PS: And don’t worry about Mopey. She is deeply affected, but she is playing it up a bit. And she’s cried the same kind of bloody tears about her favorite series being forestalled by a football game.