Biff Brand Tactics! ™ – You’ll recognize them by the suicidal stupidity.*
Well, or you might not. Both Mopey as well as the Professor do, though. While suicidal tactics are way too popular these days in the real world, in a B-movie the list of suspects is naturally restrained to the cast list, and from that Biff clearly sticks out as the only one who could plausibly come up with that sort of plan. Or “plan”.
And in case you were worried about Snuka…given how he was on fire at the end of the last strip, I mean…there really wasn’t much need to. The Professor takes lab safety serious, and always has the necessary equipment handy. It just takes some liberal application of the contents of up to four fire extinguishers, and good old Snuka is just like new. Well, assuming he looked like a smouldering heap of foam when he was new…but I’ll have to rely on the Profesor’s expertise for that, since he’s studied embryology, and I haven’t.
Seems Snuka fell victim to a feedback loop – the nemesis of any kind of long-distance equipment in B-movies. For, no matter that distance, in a B-movie you can always reflect any kind of effect back onto its source, and all electronic equipment is highly volatile and prone to spontaneous explosion if the slightest thing goes wrong. In B-movies, the Mailer Daemon doesn’t simply give up after 20 tries to route to the email address you mistyped – it spits fire right into your face.
More on Thursday!
* Biff Brand Tactics contain 150% more suicidal stupidity than other leading brands of tactics. Individual results might vary. Offer subject to VAT where applicable, not valid in New Hampshire.