We interrupt this demonstrations of the Professor’s latest, dubious scientific achievements with a quick update on Snuka, or rather, on the progress of Snuka’s brainwashing procedure. (Disclaimer: I do not support brainwashing Snuka. God knows he could do with a cleaner mind, but this is taking it a step to far.)
Progress, as you can see, is halting. Reading out and analyzing all of Snuka’s memories of his experiences takes longer than expected due to the above-average amount of dramatic and intense experiences he’s had – and the even larger amounts of popular fiction he has consumed and (con)fused with those experiences in his mind.
For the record, this memory is false:
– Snuka never attended Hogwarts. He attended the school of hard knocks, followed by Lillytown University – and at the latter, his attendance record was poor.
-The Professor is not a wizard. Arthur C. Clark would probably argue that the Professor’s brand of science is indistinguishable from magic, but this is not what he meant.
-Snukas best friends growing up were not named Biff Weasley and Hermiopey Stranger. In fact, he didn’t have any friends growing up.
More on Thurs…uh, Monday!