Putdown-artist – Chapter 8, Act 2, Strip 134

While he’s a ninja, which would be a subtype of rogue/thief in an RPG, the approach Snuka takes to overcoming this particular obstacle is the one more stereo-typically employed by the bard class: trying to romance your way past an enemy you don’t want to fight. Snuka has an established track record of success in such endeavors, but let’s just say that that’s not really down to his high charisma stat…

And while Snuka might keep wondering whether his pickup lines are really that bad for a long time to come yet, that doesn’t mean that you have to wait that long for the answer, as well. So for the benefit of the audience, here’s the canonical answer to the question: Yes. Yes, Snuka’s pickup lines are that bad. At least most of the time, that is. On some, mercifully few, occasions, they are even worse than that.

That wasn’t the case here, though – the pickup line Snuka used today was that bad, but no worse. It was still more than enough to finish off the succubus, since succubi are actually highly susceptible to bad romance. That’s one of the common drawbacks if you have supernaturally high talent at something – you start to take success for granted and aren’t prepared when something out of the ordinary happens. Like an extraordinarily bad pickup line.
The Succubus probably thought she had heard them all, in the many centuries of her existence and seductive activity – and ignored statistic reality. And that reality wouldn’t have been difficult to figure out, actually: if you rank all (gynophile) people by romantic capabilities, there would have to be one who marks the absolute bottom of that list. That one person might meet, at most, a handful of succubi over the course of their mortal existence. This means that any specific succubi’s probability/risk of meeting that person would be quite low – which, in turn, means that the average succubus would always be at risk of encountering a pickup line worse than any she’s heard before. This succubus was obviously not prepared for that simple reality…

For Snuka that means that he was able to overcome the token guardian of the crystal pretty quickly – which was crucial for keeping up his pace, since he had to switch from Naruto-running to comedic-sneaking mode, due to being both inside as well as close to his goal. Incapacitating the demon so quickly means that there’s no need for another strip here, despite the slower (and even more ridiculous) form of locomotion. In spite of this, Snuka can’t quite manage to feel elated at his utter incompetence at romance…he’s not denying the advantages, it’s just that he’s also clearly aware of the drawbacks. Let’s just put it that way: if you can’t even get laid by a succubus, your chances of losing your virginity any time soon aren’t that great.

More on Thursday.

6 Replies to “Putdown-artist – Chapter 8, Act 2, Strip 134”

  1. Oh, my. Snuka is so desperate that he’ll hit that.
    Insert “And then I noticed that she was a gargoyle” by Nanovar of Steel.

    1. Well, who else in this comic would be justified to feel desperate if not Snuka? He was practically born desperate, and his life went steadily downhill since that moment. XD

      I had no idea that such a song exists, but it does seem entirely appropriate for the situation. XD

    1. Well, that line would have been painful, but otherwise still somewhat competent. I’d imagine Snuka would use an incredibly lame line and mess up the delivery on top of it. So, like: “Did it…uh…hurt when you fell from heaven?…Because, uh…I want to have sex with you?” XD

    1. XD Yeah, I’d imagine Snuka would be fully capable of considering that a romantic and effective line. It does have a positive bend, after all…

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