Red River – Chapter 1, Strip 44b

Our favourite undead Pharaoh calls up another one of the plagues of Egypt. As a bonus, we give away the secret ingredients behind the wholesome taste of Mumia-Cola ™.

One of the things that struck me as odd in Stephen Sommers’ 1999 ‘Mummy’ adaptation were two scenes were the mummy, respectively Imhotep, is show opening his mouth incredibly wide, with his jaw dropping down to his chest. Of course, this was realized trough expensive CGI- trickery, so they obviously considered it worth the financial effort. I, for one, did not find that to be a particulary spooky or horrifying effect, I felt a kind of simpathy for a fellow with such a serious case of dropjaw. Perhaps I’m not orally fixated enough to understand the true horror of seeing someone extend his chin down to his nipples. Anyway, on the assumption that Stephen Sommers knows what he’s doing, I ripped off that effect, and expect you to be very afraid right now.

To save your eyes the strain, the slogan in the background of panel 3 is ‘Mumia- Cola conserves from within.’ Mumia is latin for mummy, but you already guessed that. ‘Mumia vera egyptica’ can be read on some vintage apothecary jars, because fragments of mummies were used as a valuable ingredient in medieval and early modern medicines. Obviously, nobody considered that cannibalism due to the age of the mummies, I guess it only counts while the body is warm.

Speaking of ghoulish ingredients, I hereby venture the theory that the secret ingredient in Coke is resin, and that Pepsi substitutes that with bitumen. Prove me wrong, if you can. Boy, if I’m right, Coke Inc. will have to roll out to the dough to keep me quiet. I guess I’ll force them to adapt the new bottle form I designed for panel 3, so I get to be a famous designer in the bargain. So if your Coke bottle starts to sport a pharaonic beard some day, you know what’s up – highest time to switch to Dr. Peppers.
Seriously, though, if you want to know the truth behind the many myths surrounding Coke, check out:

If you want to keep the wrath of Apis and Ptah away from the rivers in your area, you should vote for me, I’ll pass it on. See you on Thursday, when Rutentuten will make another pick from his bags of plagues.

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