The club can’t even handle me – Chap. 4, Act 2, Strip 3

This could have been the longest BMC strip ever, but I decided to be merciful and forego illustrating how much time you typically need to reserve when Biff is asking you to give his brain “a second”. Giving him a second brain would probably be more helpful. The Professor has seriously considered it, but some of his earlier experiments in head-transplantion did not have entirely satisfactory results. One or two of his earlier patients is still complaining about him on all of the alternative-medicine message boards – making him the probably only actual two-headed internet troll in existence.

Anyway. Just as he intended, the Professor is proceeding with his investigation from the comfort of his chair, in between bouts of talking about cooking recipes. It costs some time, but is absolutely mandatory in this context. Progress is, nevertheless, relatively rapid. Biff’s lurid…uh, I meant vivid…recollection has helped nailing down the point in time at which Busty was last seen alive. Not saying that she isn’t alive anymore, of course…but, technically, when she was last seen she was alive, and three balloons and a wig tied to a dog aren’t alive. I mean, the balloons and the wig aren’t alive, only the dog is. In case the wig was a natural hair wig, technically it was part of a living being at some point, but that point was quite a long time ago. The balloons, as a petrochemical product, were a living forrest at some point of time in the past, but that was an even longer time ago. So when Busty was last seen she was much more alive than the decoy, which was partially alive, partially dead for years, and partially dead for millions of years. For an average of quite dead, despite the dog.

Anyway. I’m sorry that Mopey cut Biff’s story short before we could actually learn what they were doing in there. Mopey isn’t normally that prudish, but I guess she’s a bit put out that I wouldn’t let her recite her epic autobiographical poem “A Midsummer Night Zombie Sex Comedy”. It’s not a bad effort at all, just…dicks and decay is not a good combination, IMHO.

More on Monday.

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