You have got to be carefully taught – Chap. 5, Act 2, Strip 4

Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from other time machine safety videos like “The nameless Doctor breaks reality” and “The funniest disasters in the history of history!“….

Now Biff is really frustrated. I mean, are you kidding him? Class? Driver’s ed class, even? That’s definitely not what he signed up for when he agree to go along on this rescue mission – in fact, it’s exactly what he tried to get away from by volunteering. So unfair.

And while Halloween might be over, the Professor still feels compelled to show a horror movie – utterly horrifying, at least from the standpoint of safe and responsible handling of time machines. And that’s a proven way to scare people into acting safer and more responsible, as the typical driver’s ed lesson demonstrates. I mean, I’m sure the effect must be proven somehow, otherwise they wouldn’t keep doing it. Surely? Bueller? Bueller?

But, no matter how horrifying the movie might be, Biff still likes classes with movies much more than classes without any. You should see his face if the Professor had announced a math lesson…

The other Professor has his hands full, in the meantime – he has to repaint two of Dr. Dutchman Fu’s time machines in a different color, a tradition lovingly called a “pallette swap”. It’s an absolute necessity when the good guys are using the very same model and mark of equipment as the bad guys – if you don’t at least change the color, it’s going to end up looking rather confusing. And lazy, too. Or at least even lazier.

Since the originals are blue, he has decided to go for red for the repaint. He’d have gone for green, but those time machines have such a large carbon footprint, it would have been kinda hypocritical. And anyway, red ‘uns go fasta!!! Speed, of course, being an advantage that is hardly ever as useless as in the case of a time machine, but what can you do.

More on Thursday.

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