1:0 – Chapter 7, Act 3, Strip 54

Well, when non-heroes meet, they sometimes have a wine-tasting event…when heroes meet, especially when they meet in combat, they have a wrath-tasting event.

The Professorian was serving up a classic, the renowned wrath of the Warhammer of Zillyhoo. But K’ip beat him with a modern alternative: the wrath of decorative leather flowers. It clearly was a bad idea to try to attack a master crafter while wearing an outfit made from leather and fur, or ‘raw materials’, as a crafter would call them. But then, I’d say the Barbarian’s outfit is a bad idea in any number of ways, and the Professor might even fully agree with that – it’s just that nobody gave him any choice or say in that matter.

The outfit being only one symptom of the wider problem with the Professorian, of course: his age and character class just make for a very awkward combination, and none of his efforts to live up to the ideal of the wildly-charging berzerker can distance him sufficiently from the ever-present danger of a slide into the comic-relief role – partly because berzerker rage and childish tantrum are so hard to tell apart at that age. Robert E. Howard obviously knew what he was doing by never writing anything about Conan’s childhood and youth, but that lesson was seemingly lost on the writers of that D&D TV show – or, perhaps more charitably, willfully disregarded?

In the meantime, DM takes score and awards the first point to K’ip’s side. In the absence of a home team, it should be easy for him to be a neutral and objective judge, I’d hope.

More on Thurs…uh, Monday.

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