Hello, Ranger. Hello, Ripper. – Chapter 2, Strip 33

I thought it was time to reveal a bit more on some of the main characters. So now we know: Biff is a ‘dog’ person, and Mopey is a ‘goat-sucker’ person. I don’t think either comes as a big surprise to anyone, though. And as long as we are on that issue, I guess you can easily discern from this episode that I’m not much of a ‘dog’ person, either. XD Too bad my landlord doesn’t allow me to have any chupacabras…or at least an Elmendorf beast or two…

To bring you the most acurate chupacabra depiction possible, I have carefully analyzed most of the reported sightings. In general, they agree on the following points: The chupacabra is a sometimes nearly-but-not-quite humanoid reptilian canine with occasional wings, many pointed teeth that can also somehow form into a mosquito nose, and totally covered with fur or not. In short, it looks like a dog designed by a goverment comittee, and that’s probably what gave rise to the rumours of wild chupacabras having sprung from an escaped experimental specimen.

This rumour, of course, would require you to allow for the fact that there was a top secret goverment agency spending millions of dollars on developing new and terrfiying genetically altered beings in preparation for threats as likely as a full scale invasion by goat-like aliens. Sadly to say, that sounds even somewhat possible.

There’s one thing that puzzles me, though. If ‘chupacabra’ means goat-sucker, what does ‘chupachups’ mean?

Mopey’s comment in the last panel is just what dog owners usually say in such situations. ‘The dog just wants to play’… Great – if the dog mangles my arm, at least I’ll have the consolation that it enjoyed it…

In case you wonder what breed Ranger is, I really don’t know. And now, nobody can tell anymore, anyway…

On Thursday, Professor Dr. and Snuka will find out more about the special characteristics their new costumes have. Please vote.

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