Missing Kitty – Chap. 4, Act 3, Strip 15

Oh Noez! The uranians have tracked our friends and have found out about the passage through the time dilation field! And Comrade Uranin has come himself to lead the invasion of Earth, clearly showing that he means business. Well, not business in the sense of free enterprise, obviously, but business in the sense of everyone doing their part to fulfill and over-fulfill the goals set out in the current five-year plan. But he means business, nevertheless.

In the meantime, the guards on Comrade Uranin’s flagship have become faceless. ._. They’ve always been nameless, of course, but they used to have faces…but then they realized that it must have been their faces that allowed Comrade Uranin to tell them apart, which enabled him to decide whom of them to send to the Uranian equivalent of Siberia. Now that they’re faceless, Uranin can only punish them all or punish none…and forgetting to take the kitty along probably gets close to justifying sending them all to the Uranian equivalent of Siberia, but probably not closer than close. Not having any guards around would force Comrade Uranin to do all of his exposition as a monologue, which would make him come over slightly unhinged.

Bad enough that he has to pet air, missing his most favouritest villainous accessory. He really only likes cats as props, but he knows how crucial such props are to a well-balance villainous appearance. Showing kindness to a pet makes villainous acts of murder and mayhem just stand out more distinctely. And since he never managed to get used to dogs, he has to make do with cats, even though that’s a bit of a problematic choice for him. Cats just don’t obey. They hardly ever last more than a few hours with him, he’s already sent hundreds to the Uranian equivalent of Siberia.

More on Thursday.

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