But, Snuka, fashion tends to move in circles, so who’s to say that our great-grandfathers’ one-piece bathing suits aren’t back to being the hot shit right this moment?
Well, I guess anyone who’s informed on beach fashion would say that, and probably with a fair deal of conviction and emphasis…buuut, how many beach wear fashionistas would you expect within the ranks of an average B-movie audience? Not too many, and B-movies seem to set the threshold of the share of the audience they aren’t willing to insult in terms of intelligence or sensibilities somewhere around 60%, so…
But, of course, I’m not actually saying that one-piece bathing suits are the hot shit right now, for frankly I have absolutely no idea and very little interest in the question. I’m just saying that there are multiple ways to explain Snuka’s disappointing fanservice experience. One would be, as indicated, that he’s wrongly appraising the stylishness of the time-honored one-piece male bathing suit.
A second possible alternative explanation would be timing – perhaps the designated male fanservice episode was already over by the time he showed up. In that case, it would have been down only to the geolocation/time-zone issue we’ve already discussed before.
Admittedly, the third possible explanation is the one entertained by Snuka himself: that it’s a hidden (or, from some perspective, even quite blatant) diss of his body type, and that we would need to achieve at least the Nagisa Hazuki standard of 5’5″ and 121 lbs to be considered for a fanservice sequence. Which would be unfortunate, since his position within the Team Dynamics Matrix will likely prevent him from ever reaching these benchmarks, irrespective of his age, diet or exercise regime. The team needs a short and scrawny member, and transferring that status to a different member would require a complicated plot device he’s very unlikely to convince the scriptwriters to adopt just for the sake of his self esteem*.
More on Monday.
The scriptwriters seem somewhat antagonistic towards Snuka’s self-esteem on the best of days, anyway.