All your base are belong to us – Chap. 4, Act 3, Strip 26

Skipping on hopeless and pointless battle against insurmountable odds, we rejoin our heroes after they have been taken prisoner by the Uranians – just in time for Comrade Uranin to deliver his grand “I planned it all along” speech.

Since he knew it would sooner or later come to this, he had the speech written in advance. He requested that the speech start off with a pun, but he overlooked specifying a level of quality for the pun. Despite the latter failure, he had the speech writer deported to the Uranian equivalent of Siberia afterwards.

This was also another point in time for which he had planned to be seen sinisterly stroking his cat, but since the cat had been left behind, a cardboard cutout had to do. Strictly speaking, he had also planned to change from his cosplay to his marshal’s uniform before giving the speech, but in all the hurry…

Aside from that, and the little problem with standing in the wrong footprints, he delivered his speech without any problems. I’ve still skipped almost all of it, it was just the same ol’, same ol’. He basically recapitulated the whole plot from the beginning, and claimed credit for having engineered all of it, including all of the completely unpredictable and randomn events. Because everyone knows that a master strategist can think forward much faster than a movie audience can think backward, unless they go to the fridge for a beer (the latter going for both).

Well, I guess it doesn’t matter, as long as he wins. And he has most definitely won, hasn’t he? I mean, the heroes are in a hopeless position, he is holding all of the trump cards … could anything possibly still go wrong now?

That was a rhetorically question.

More on Monday.

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