Forensic Fast Food – Chapter 2, Strip 16

Well, on the way from the crime scene to the morgue, Sheriff Ketchum got hungry and stopped at Burnside’s, is all. OK, so he’s always hungry…same diff. Admittedly, Sheriff Ketchum’s crime scene investigations are a bit haphazard…but after all, there’s not been a single homicide in that little town for over a decade. Even if there was an unusually large number of drug incidents…

Have you noted how I subtly avoided using a recognizable brand name for these chicken debris? I’m, like, so clever. Ambrose Everett Burnside, for those who are interested, was an actual Civil War general and later governor of Rhode Island. Historically, he is mostly notable for his massive sideburns, and massive losses his troops sustained in a mindless frontal attack on prepared enemy positions at Fredericksburg. Somehow, I found it fitting to name a bucket full of dismembered chickens after him…

For those who wish to emulate Sheriff Ketchum’s taste sensation without committing a horrible crime, I suggest Hufu – the healthy, vegetarian human-flesh alternative: http://www.in-sect.com/article/337/the-healthy-human-flesh-alternative

The microscope is the ultimate scientific instrument in B-movies. Not only are B-movie savants occasionally able to study sub-molecular effects with small table microscopes, these marvel machines can also detect various types of radiation (including ‘unknown’ types), as well as mystic forces. Unless the script calls for mystery, in which case the microscope loses its ability to detect even things a normal looking glass would. Champion of B-microscopism, of course, is no one else than our old friend Batman (from the 60ies serial), whose bat-scope (complete with yellow bat-symbol) could even detect where a certain soil sample originated, and whether it has ever been on the Joker’s shoes. Strangely, when I look through such a simple microscope, all I see is things a little larger…

On Monday, there will finally be an official reaction to the growing body count – don’t get your hopes up too high, though. But a mysterious figure, up to now only hinted at, will finally show their face. Don’t get your hopes up too high, though. Pleeease vote.

Title: Forensic Fast Food

Text: Not every piece of evidence collected at a crime scene makes it into the investigation. However, ‘body of victim’ actually tops the list of things that are not supposed to go missing on the way…

Leave a Reply